Thursday, July 19, 2007

I'm addicted to sex with truckers

I'm totally addicted to sex with truckers that I meat at truck stops. Tall ones, short ones, skinny ones, fat ones, clean ones, dirty ones, Southern ones, Northern ones, Canadian ones, they all are delicious. One time I had sex with a dirty trucker and when I was walking back to my car I found a fifty dollar bill in my pocket. He paid me! What a great day, because usually I do it for free.

The only thing about sex with truckers is that sometimes I spread herpes across the country. It's not big deal, because I only hang out at one specific truck stop for a week or so at a time, then move on. By the time their crotch starts to break out, I'm at a different stop, spreading the love.

I go by different names, both to protect myself and keep it interesting. This week, I'm in the Marshall, MI area under the code name "10-4 Whore". I've been "Stick Shifter", "Big Loadz", "TruckerFucker", and "Red Light Dickstrict". I used "Dillon McHoneyPot" for a long time in the Indiana area, but too many dudes thought I was gonna be a tranny when I used that alias. That shit is sick.

I'm not sure when I was first turned on by truckersex, maybe it was playing with Tonkas when I was a kid? What little boy didn't have a whole set of burley plastic men dripping with machismo ready to drive that stick wherever it needed to be driven? Or those yellow dump trucks, with practically a gay disco's worth of flashing lights on the top and sides. I mean you turn that truck on in a dark room and it could be "teen night" at The Manhole downtown.

Anyway. I thought I'd share this little tidbit about myself.

Peace bitches.

7 comments:

Absolutely hilarious. Loved it.

Oh well great. Now I'm double dissapointed. I missed out on you the first time cuz of the whole I'm-not-a-gay-man thing, and now I realized I missed yet another chance when I was a trucker. You're such a dirty teasing bitch.

OMG where the hell did you come up with those names??!!! Those were freaking funny as shit. Oh GAWD for real!!

So does Mat know? Is he your ho or is he your pimp?

LOL @ your first line - did you mean to type MEAT, cuz that's some serious good double entendre. (and I'm sure I just misspelled that last word - sue me.)

Bel: Thank you! :P

Lindy: Haha you have a permanent, free coupon to Travis's tilt-a-whirl. Just ask :)

CruiserMel: A woman after my own heart! NO ONE says "double entendre"... You are my hero/BFF for using it.

Meat? LOLOL Travipoo, truckers are not always safe. You don't want to become part of the hood ornament on some big truck one day, do you?

Plus, by paying you that makes you a truckstop hor. Is that really what you want to be when you grow up? ;o)

Howd you you do it? Did you ask them if they want to have sex? So awesome i wanna do that!

That's just wonderful ur spreading STD'S to other people What a fucking scum bag you are